Category Archives: Uncategorized

Reflecting on the Loss of My Dad

Last week I lost my biological father after a long stretch of poor health. He was the man who was the catalyst of my creation. The man I called dad. The man who left my mom when I was a baby. The man responsible for the addition of step and half siblings and step moms into my life.

In a menagerie of family extensions I learned to weave my way through all of the varied relationships that graced my life from a very young age. Christmas Eve with mom and Christmas Day with dad was natural. Family celebrations like graduations or weddings were pleasant with both mom and dad and their respective spouses and children present. There was no drama or anger or angst over both being present in the same room or the same house at the same time. We were all a family unit and that’s just the way it was.

As I sit here surprisingly peaceful, I reflect on those growing up years and am grateful for a mom who didn’t cause dissension between her children and their father. I think of what I could have missed out on had she done that. Those Sunday afternoon visits that were all too infrequent. Those summer visits at dad’s where I experienced and embraced my new siblings and step-mom. Those Christmas Days at Grandpa Floyd and Grandma Bert’s farm house where all 14 kids shared in a gift exchange and blended together like real siblings.

My dad’s choices created a new, beautiful world really. I wouldn’t give up one step brother or step sister. I wouldn’t be complete without my two half brothers or half sister. I wouldn’t have the joys of having three moms.

I think sometimes we look at unfortunate circumstances or changes beyond our control as dark and tragic. We put blinders on in the midst of our grief. We choose to only see it from one angle. If we look a little deeper, however, there’s always something within any situation to be thankful for. If not for any other reason than to retain peace in our souls, we need to look at change and grief with open minds. The opposite is torment and unending questions that keep us in chains.

When I totally forgave my dad for changing my entire world and redirecting the course of my life after leaving my mom, I was able to release those chains and a whole new world opened up to me. What I found in return, was a dad who made choices based on the foundation he grew up with and who he had chosen to be. God allowed him to be my father and who was I to judge him?

Today I’m 100% grateful for God’s grace in the relationship between my dad and I. Without that grace I wouldn’t have forgiven and allowed my dad, who I loved dearly, to be a part of my life. I’m grateful that God showed me my imperfections, which opened my eyes and my heart to forgiveness.

I will miss his love of country music and all things John Wayne. I will miss his joy of westerns and the Grand Ole Opry. I will miss his guitar playing and singing. I will miss his stories of his truck driving days. I will miss his acceptance of me and all of my faults. I will miss my dad.

Rest in Peace Don Williams – Jan 25, 1931 – May 2, 2017.

Millionaire in Seat 23C

About three months ago I was on a flight from Tampa to Atlanta and randomly was seated next to a millionaire.  It’s normal for me to strike up a conversation with whoever is sitting next to me. I love finding out about how other people live their lives.

The man was Myron Golden, someone I had never heard of before. That’s the cool thing about millionaires. There are so many of them today because of the opportunities presented to anyone open to new ways of earning money. The internet has changed the way people shop and do business, making it possible for anyone to make an income online.

I asked Myron a lot of questions and he divulged a lot of information. I felt blessed because his live seminars cost way more than my plane ticket, and I had his full attention for almost an hour. His energy and clarity and conviction were what struck me the most. His message was clear that anyone can get ahead financially with the right mindset and with ambition.

One of the things that struck me the most was his comment about how rich peoples’ mindsets are different. He said – “One of the differences between rich people and poor people is that poor people entertain themselves and rich people educate themselves. Poor people spend a large amount of their money on entertainment, but rich people spend a large amount of their money on education. Keep in mind this is self-education, not necessarily higher education like college and grad school.”

He suggested getting rid of television completely so the distraction wasn’t even present. I can see where I’ve wasted a lot of time on mindless televisions shows and movies. If I had been spending as much time learning new things as I have on entertainment that other people have created to make money, I may be farther ahead in life than I am.

Myron sent me two of the books he has written. “From The Trash Man To The Cash Man – how anyone can get rich starting from anywhere.”  AND “Click and Order For Brick and Mortar – online strategies for offline market domination”.

I like his thinking that you don’t have to be a millionaire to be rich. But that “poor people remain poor because they believe that the only real purpose of money is spending it. If you spend your money, that means your money doesn’t stay with you long enough to reproduce itself. You must understand that the main purpose of money is not spending. The main purpose of money is reproducing more money.”

I am facing a new year – like the rest of you – yeah for 2017!

What I do with this year is totally up to me.  My challenge to myself is to educate myself as much as possible and learn new things. I’m excited for what is to come!

Happy New Year!clickandorder

 

 

Soul Talk Girl at 55 – My Skincare Routine for Anti-Aging

About a year and a half ago I started a new skincare routine.  At 55 years old I’ve found a skincare product that has me celebrating my age!!!

The Redefine products by Rodan + Fields have changed the way I see myself and have given me a new confidence.

In this video I am sharing my day and night time routines.  Prior to Rodan + Fields I didn’t spend a lot of money on skincare, but my skin also showed it. My daily routine was a bar of soap and Lubriderm lotion. I was happy with the way my skin felt but they didn’t make my skin look better.

(I have to laugh at myself that I dropped something on the floor while I was recording this video. I love the fact that I don’t have to be perfect in videos and can show a little humor. After all, humor helps us stay younger also, right?)

As promised in the video I am adding in my before and after pictures showing the results I have experience by using R+F.  I think the photos speak for themselves. These were the results I had when I first began using R+F in 2015.

Kathy's before and after
Kathy’s before and after

This is a recent photo of me.

Redefined by R+F at 55
Redefined by R+F at 55

Needless to say, I’m very happy with my skincare.

55 Years Old and Great Skin

Kathy's before and after
Kathy’s before and after
Fine Lines, Wrinkles
Fine Lines, Wrinkles

I didn’t need convincing to try online services like Kohls, Amazon, or eBay. It just made sense to use services that were convenient and had great products that I knew I could return easily if they weren’t exactly what I wanted.
That’s how my Rodan + Fields skincare business works. It’s risk-free, just like most online ordering businesses. This picture shows how R+F has helped my 55-year-old skin.
I’m confident it will do the same for you. R+F offers a Premium Skincare product created by two of the most famous dermatologists in the world. And there’s a 60-day money back guarantee.
Some people think its expensive but will spend $3.45 on one Tall Caffe Mocha at Starbucks every day of the week, which also adds up. It’s all a matter of what’s important to you!
If skincare is important and you’d like to try R+F, I can show you ways to make your products last a little longer – therefore, limiting how often you need to order them.
You could have radiant looking skin before Christmas.
Would you like to learn more? http://www.kathyshelto.myrandf.com

Skincare at 55 Years Old

I didn’t need convincing to try online services like Kohls, Amazon, or eBay. It just made sense to use services that were convenient and had great products that I knew I could return easily if they weren’t exactly what I wanted.
That’s how Rodan + Fields skincare works. It’s risk-free, just like most online ordering businesses.
I’m confident it will do the same for you. R+F offers a Premium Skincare product created by two of the most famous dermatologists in the world. And there’s a 60-day money back guarantee.
I can show you ways to make your products last a little longer – therefore, limiting how often you need to order them.
soultalkgirl@ymail.com
img_8501

Supporting Small Businesses Through the Holidays

supportsmallbusiness

 

As the holiday season begins I’d like to share something important. I cherish the relationships I’ve built online in both my personal and business relationships. Within this internet community I’ve met the most beautiful people who have enriched my life in so many ways.

With that said, I am asking you all to consider small business owners as you are buying gifts for friends and family members this holiday season.

Small businesses owners are just people who have chosen the non-traditional form of “work” to provide an income for our families. We have built either social selling businesses, home-based businesses, or small brick and mortar stores to make a living and to sell products or services that can benefit you and your family.

As individuals, we can’t compete with the one-stop variety of Walmart or your nearest mall, but we do have products that could possibly replace the things you buy regularly at these places.

So…here is what I ask of each of you to consider as you start shopping for holiday gifts:

****Want to buy someone you love life changing skincare products? Contact me for Rodan + Fields Skincare.
****Want to get a holiday manicure with your coworkers? Host a Jamberry party at home.
****Before purchasing a Yankee candle, ask around for a Gold Canyon or Scentsy consultant
****Before sniffing everything in Bath and Body Works, ask if anyone sells home made & local.
****Looking to grab a scarf, sweater or some mittens for grandma? Ask if any of your friends knits or crochets on the side at home.
****Instead of seeking out cosmetics at the mall – find a Younique Rep.
****How about the latest bags? Thirty-One is a great choice.
****Looking for Jewelry, scarves, essential oils, books, clothing, etc.
– – – – – you get the idea!

Whatever you do, please consider supporting your friends’ or families’ businesses. It can really make a difference in their future!! 💕

If you are a direct sales consultant or local business, please feel free to share your link, web address and/or products below! (Fellow Rodan + Fields Consultants – please for obvious reasons, do not post your website.)

When Life Overwhelms You

overwhelmed1

Tune in to any news network and you’re faced with police killings, bombings, racial divides, political corruption and economic uncertainties.

We’re constantly being challenged to choose a ‘side’, whether it be gender, race, politics or any other controversial topic, we’re expected to make a determination as to who we are with and who we are against.

There is constant stimulation around us and by the end of the day it can leave us with our heads spinning out of control.

I’m not normal. I was thin skinned from a very young age and was accused of being ‘overly sensitive’. I have always felt like the ‘odd man out’, whether I was with a group of friends or within the structure of my own family.

I love people and care about my friends and family deeply, but I feel lost in most social situations and, therefore, try to avoid them as much as possible.

It wasn’t until a few years ago when I learned that I was a part of a small percentage of people who are highly sensitive that I was able to finally take a deep breath and realize I wasn’t alone.

I finally “belonged”. The group is known as Highly Sensitive People (HSP). The sense of belonging to others who understand my behaviors was beyond incredible. I could look back and see how my trait affected countless situations. I could finally see how normal stress to someone else was majorly overwhelming to me.

highlysensitivebook

In her book, The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron explains: “The downside of the trait shows up at more intense levels of stimulation. What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs. What is highly arousing for most people causes an HSP to become very frazzled indeed, until they reach a shutdown point . . . ”

She goes on to explain, “per the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, that the most basic inherited difference among people was how soon they reach this shutdown point.”

What I gather from this is that even those who are not highly sensitive, if exposed to constant daily stimulation from the effects of the media, work, traffic, etc., will eventually reach the point of shutdown.

This may explain why, according to a report published in November of 2015, by the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), that from 1999 to 2012 the percentage of Americans on antidepressants increased from 6.8% to 13%.

My guess is that among those percentages are people who fall within the HSP realm as well as outside of it. My guess is that the stress levels of living a “normal” daily life is affecting much of the population.

So what should we do so as to not allow the daily effects of life to alter our sense of peace? Here are few solutions:

  1. Don’t chose a side – just be and allow others the same freedom.
  2. Watch, listen to and surround yourself with positive people and news.
  3. Close your eyes and breathe deeply.
  4. Go outside and take a walk. Move around.
  5. Use water to take the stress away. Drink it or swim in it.
  6. Set your thoughts on some thing you love and smile softly.

Doing these things may not change the circumstances around you, but your goal is to bring some inner peace in the midst of chaos.

Positive or negative – you have the choice as to what you surround yourself with. Only you know what it takes to become overwhelmed.

Living The Uncommon Life

Don't let the crabs bring you down!
Don’t let the crabs bring you down!

Have you ever tried reaching for a goal – something very different from what you’ve always done – and have someone criticize you for it?

It reminds me of the story of the crabs. If you have a bucket full of crabs you never have to worry if they are going to get out. Why? Because if one tries to get out the other crabs in the bucket will actually pull him back down!

If you’re reaching for a better way of life – starting a new business, cutting back on spending money to get out debt, or even avoiding the lunchroom gossip to get a more positive attitude . . . chances are someone is going to ridicule you for it.

It’s not fun making those unpopular choices, but just know this:

IF YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK . . .  YOU’RE KILLING YOUR OWN SUCCESS!

No matter what you may try to do, there will always be those “crabby” people who will try to pull you back down to their “reality.”

Keep scratching up the side of the bucket and do everything you can to reach the top.

There’s no telling what you’ll be able to grasp onto in life once you shake loose from those “crabby” claws.

 

Living With Contentment

. . . the appreciation of what we have.

In the chapter on Living Peacefully in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, Dr. Wayne Dyer shares the 46th verse of the Tao Te Ching. In part he says:

“There is . . . no greater tragedy than discontentment; the worst of faults is wanting more – always!”

Written five hundred years before the birth of Jesus, a God-realized man named Lao-tzu in ancient China shared these wise words that ring so very true in our culture today.

So I ask the question – How do we know when we have enough?

When I was growing up I had a limited wardrobe, a few nice toys, and a rebuilt bicycle – because my parents worked hard but didn’t have unlimited financial resources. We didn’t live in excess of anything (except the abundance of a beautiful vegetable garden that my step-father worked tirelessly at), but we always had enough. I didn’t really need anything – unless I looked around me and saw what other people had. I didn’t need things – until I saw an ad on television or heard about some new thing on the radio. I didn’t get most things, but it created a desire within me.

I think that’s the way it is today. We have media thrown at us from every direction and friends on Facebook telling about their latest exciting vacation, car, clothes or gadget. It gets us wondering if that’s what we need.

So we struggle with the issue of – is what I have enough? Would more make me feel successful, happy, content?

  • The average household credit card debt is $15,675.
  • The average household mortgage debt is $172,341.
  • The average household auto loan debt is $27,865.
  • The average household student loan debt is $48,591.
  • The total credit card debt alone collectively owed by U.S. consumers = $729 billion.

I don’t know about you, but those numbers tell me that there are whole lot of people who are not living in contentment – they are living in bondage to a whole lot of debt.

So, getting back to Lao tzu and his ancient wisdom – he also says “There is  . . . no greater curse than covetousness.”

Many might think ‘that’s just an old word from the Bible‘. Today’s terms would be – greediness and materialism.

Dr. Dyer shifts our thinking to a more positive way. “When you truly understand what it means to live peacefully, satisfaction will begin to replace your desire for more. Your world will begin to become tranquil as you change your own life and then touch the lives of your immediate family, your neighbors, your co-workers, and ultimately your nation and the entire planet.”

What’s he talking about? He’s talking about practicing gratitude and contentment in our every day lives. He’s saying that if we want to live a content life, we need to learn that it isn’t all about acquiring things. He’s saying that a sense of gratitude within us will squelch the desire for more.

A final word from Dr. Dyer: “When enough of us are able to do this . . .[we will] surpass the demands of the ego.”

And a final word from the ancient Chinese master of wisdom:

“Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.”
Lao Tzu

My Garden Makes Me Happy

 

My Back Yard Garden
My Back Yard Garden

It’s the little things in life that make me happy.

That’s one of the traits of a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), which I’ve discovered within the past few years that I fall under the category of.  Although the majority of my life these same traits have caused me to feel very uncomfortable in my own skin, I’m beginning to embrace who I am and the way I was created.

My back yard makes me very happy. I’ve created a little garden that I’m able to see out of my kitchen window. In this garden are herbs, and flowers, and a few weeds.  The old birdbath that we found under an overgrowth of Bromeliads and mother-in-law tongues has been revived and stands proud among the growing plants and color.

Is it perfect? Not in the least. That’s why I love it. It’s simple and growing and imperfect – just like me.

One of the best things about my little garden is that it attracts butterflies. I’ve seen a variety of butterflies floating and bouncing around the orange and yellow blossoms of a plant I can’t even remember the name of.

It doesn’t matter. The butterflies don’t care either.img_2337

All that matters is that the little butterflies dancing around my little garden brings so much joy to my heart that I smile every time I see one.