It’s true that you don’t know the strength and character of a person until you’ve watched them handle adversity. Such is the case with my friend, Robin.
Her husband suffered a massive stroke in April of this year. Still holding out hope for his recovery, without over thinking it, she began to share on Facebook what was happening with Dave. As things started looking more dire, she truthfully shared his condition and what she was going through. An avalanche of support was poured out in return as friends and family began to hear what had happened.
Then she was forced to make the decision that no wife is ever prepared to make, to take Dave off of life support. There was no hope for his recovery and after extensive discussion with his family, they made a collective decision.
Still sharing on Facebook what was taking place, her friends and family were in awe of the strength and clarity she possessed in sharing what she was going through in the midst of her own unthinkable grief. Not at all in an attempt for pity, but in a loving and respectful way for her friends and family who could not be by her side, to know the circumstances.
Robin has continued to share her journey on Facebook throughout the year. We’ve watcher her through ups and downs, joys and anger, sorrows and discoveries; but mostly have seen her strength and strong character. She is an example to anyone going through a tough situation.
The other day (12/2/2016) Robin gave a collective overview of her difficult year. I hope it can be a source of strength and encouragement for whatever you may be going through today.
Inventory, admissions and affirmations.
Without question 2016 has been the most beautifully challenging, emotionally torturing, soulfully growing year of my life.
Pushing through this December…. with all it’s family moments, expectations of happiness, memories, cancelled plans including a Christmas Eve wedding anniversary where we would have renewed our vows, is just another thing I have to do in this process.
Don’t feel sorry for me. I share these things because grief is so complex and simple at the same time and when it comes your way you need to be open to living through it all and knowing you are not isolated in your feelings. You will get through, you will not drown in loneliness, even though it feels as if you will
I am open to what life presents me like I have not been in many years,
super excited to possibly be a leader in a program to help others beginning this spring.
I am enjoying new things, learning new lessons, becoming a stronger person, made a few mistakes, taking time for me, learning to close doors on hurtful people and that it is a really good thing because another door leading to a better person is waiting for me.
I am still very much a face value person, don’t come to me claiming to be one thing only to prove you are not, it will be your loss and my lesson. I am immeasurably stronger now.
Liars and people who refuse to own their actions continue to be the most toxic and I have no room for them.
My love, kindness and attention is still given without hesitation, if you are genuine.
I continue to love with all I have, smile with joy from deep within and sometimes cry so hard it hurts my soul.
Loss bruises and shatters you makes you sad and lonely unlike anything you ever understood before but it doesn’t completely break you. All your tomorrows will still be there waiting for you even when you feel like you can’t make it through another moment of today. There are many things you still have left to do. Learn, live, love, enjoy, laugh, experience, share, help, feel, grow, listen, teach….. be amazing and surprise yourself with all you are capable of. Make yourself happy but never be selfish and hurtful in the process. Your grieving is not an excuse to harm another (this really is something everyone should practice but sadly don’t)
There will be new reasons to cry, because we as humans are not meant to be alone so we continue to love, connect and feel disappointments well beyond our loss.
Thank you to my tried and true, my disappointments and lessons. It all continues to prove I have so much more love, meaning and purpose ahead. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a soul-filling New Year.
I am so thankful for this beautiful friend who shares her heart.
(Published with Robin’s permission.)